How I Stay Positive About Work

I work as a software engineer and at times I struggle to feel positive while I’m working. When I started writing this it was intended to be a private document for me to reflect on regularly as needed, but at a certain point it felt worth sharing just in case someone else might benefit from it.

Last year I felt burnt out and unmotivated so I took a 6 month break from working for other people and focused on myself. I like to think that I’ve left companies on good terms and that’s proven itself in one case because I’ve recently rejoined one of my old teams on a part-time basis. Having had such a long break, I’m not used to sitting at my computer all day to focus and I often miss being able to take extended breaks to do whatever I feel like. I usually snap out of that thought pretty quickly because I don’t have an amazing source of passive income (yet) that makes that a sustainable lifestyle. Aside from missing the free time, when I’m not feeling positive about work, it’s usually because I’m feeling:

• Challenged by problems that I need to solve
• Disorganised about my priorities and responsibilities
• Incapable of using the tools that are required for the job
• Distracted by other thoughts that I may be having
• Uncertain about whether my work is correct
• Stressed that I’ve overpromised and that I will under-deliver
• Doubtful about whether I enjoy the work that I’m doing

There have been times where I’ve had almost all of these feelings simultaneously. To overcome each of the feelings above, I choose to remind myself of the following things:

Problem Solving

I have a job that allows me to solve varied problems on a regular basis. They don’t always feel easy because a lot of them involve technology that I haven’t used before or concepts that I haven’t seen before. Often the structure of the problem is one that I haven’t modelled before and don’t immediately know how to tackle. Each new problem is an opportunity to learn and add skills to my repertoire. The more I trust that I’ll eventually find a solution, the more chance I have of finding it because I’m not spending my limited energy fighting against myself.

On a practical note, if a problem feels too difficult it can usually be broken down into smaller pieces that are easier to overcome. If I deconstruct a complex problem into questions to be answered and tasks that need to be completed and then tackle them one at a time then I can reduce that overwhelming feeling that I get when something seems challenging. The reward of coming up with a solution to a problem and implementing it successfully is worth the effort that it takes. It adds to my confidence because it serves as evidence of my abilities and everything that I learned along the way. As I said before, the next time I face a similar problem, I’ll benefit from my experience.

Organisation

I feel disorganised at times when I’m spending all of my time trying to complete work and not investing in my organisation systems. A disorganised day consists of working on whatever comes to mind as the most important task, until I get a 15 minute reminder that I have a meeting coming up, followed by quickly preparing whatever I need for the meeting and feeling stressed all the while because I didn’t prepare enough, and the cycle repeats. I’d also sometimes get to the end of the day and realise that I’d spent most of my time on tasks that were either unimportant or non-urgent.

I’ve realised that I need to dedicate time to observing myself and my work at a high-level so that I keep on top of things that are due, rather than just trying to catch up all the time. That means looking ahead at my calendar and at deadlines that have been set and keeping track of how much work and time remains. It also means making a list of daily tasks that I intend to complete, and communicating the relevant updates to my team. I’m currently practicing doing this at a week- and month-scale so that I can get better at looking ahead and estimating when work will be complete and revising expectations as needed. In the past I thought that I had to be precise about these sorts of calculations but recently I’ve found that just making any attempt at planning ahead is better than nothing. It helps me to be more aware of what to expect and less likely to stress about deadlines that I haven’t prepared for.

Capability

Sometimes I feel incapable of doing parts of my job because I either haven’t done them before or haven’t done them enough to feel confident in my abilities. This is especially true if someone is watching me or my screen. The important thing for me to remember here is that the simplest task can feel difficult without practice. In situations where someone is learning a new skill, they’re using a lot of their working memory to process information that isn’t stored in the long-term memory yet. I recently read The Programmer’s Brain which helped me to understand that sustained practice that involves recalling memories is a way to ensure that skills have been “learned”. Therefore, the technique that helps me to feel more capable is simply to do more of the things that I feel like I’m incapable of doing until that feeling goes away. These days I take note of the times when I have this feeling and I dedicate my spare time to intentional practice. Unsurprisingly, I find it a lot easier to learn new things when they are my focus, instead of when they’re an obstacle to achieving something else.

Focus

I have a tendency to get distracted by tangential and unrelated thoughts that I have while I’m working. Examples include messages and emails that I receive, conversations happening around me, flies buzzing in the room. Lately I’ve been consciously taking steps to improve my focus. Shutting out the outside world with noise cancelling headphones and ‘focus mode’ on my phone is one part of the puzzle. The more challenging aspect of distraction happens in my head. Sometimes things pop up and my default reaction is to chase that thought. That might mean that I want to delve into a different part of the code to learn more, search for answers online, or quickly handle tasks that I suddenly remember that I need to do. This is especially true if the task that I’m working on is long, difficult and somewhat boring, even if I’ve committed to completing it by a certain time. One strategy that I’ve been using is to keep a text document open on my computer where I can add any distracting thoughts that pop up. This helps me to quickly get that thought out of my head, without any fear that it will be lost or forgotten, and get back to what I’m meant to be focused on. I’m still not great at this and sometimes I only notice that I’ve been distracted after I’ve wasted some time but I believe I’ll gradually build up the discipline to stay focused as I start to reap the rewards of each incremental improvement.

Less uncertainty

A lot of the time I feel uncertain of whether I’m doing the right thing or if an idea will work. When I started observing this side of myself I suspected that I’d developed a somewhat unhealthy relationship with receiving constructive feedback and taken it more personally than I should have. An anxious response to that fear of judgement has been to over-scrutinise my decisions. Rather than help the situation, all this has done is lead to decision paralysis which slows me down and makes me feel unproductive.

A more helpful solution has been to remind myself that engineering decisions should be made based on reasoning and evidence rather than emotion. In these times I’ve found that it helps to write down my reasoning for why I’m doing something a certain way. To start with, this helps to critique my own ideas gradually instead of having thoughts bouncing around in my head. Being able to clearly articulate my thoughts and reach conclusions based on evidence gives me the confidence that I need to make decisions and move forward. Shifting my perspective in this way has also meant that when I receive feedback on my work, it becomes a discussion about alternative solutions with reasons and evidence that I might not have considered earlier. Doing what I can to reduce the emotion up-front means that I’ll have less of a tendency to introduce emotion later in the process.

In the context of building software, if I’m planning a major feature that needs to be implemented I document my proposals and the evidence that helped me get there and share them with my team. The cost of incorporating feedback into an idea is much lower than doing the same thing after implementation. In addition, getting my team’s endorsement will provide me with a boost of confidence that I need to tackle whatever challenge is next. On the other hand if I’m doubting myself about a small decision that doesn’t have much of a consequence of being wrong, I need to back myself, trust that I’m headed in the right direction and give it a go. If I realise partway through that I need to revise my thinking I can easily pivot on my own, or ask a team mate for their advice in case their fresh perspective is enough to notice something that I’m missing. In these situations I need to remind myself that agonising over a decision is nowhere near as productive as seeking feedback and learning from experience and that the process is only personal if I allow it to be.

Calm

When it comes to stress on the job, I’ve found that it’s usually either due to being overwhelmed with information that I’m struggling to process or feeling like I’m taking too long and falling behind on delivering what I’ve promised.

There’s nothing unusual about struggling to process too much information. Similar to what I’ve said above, this can be treated like any other problem and can be dealt with by breaking it down into smaller, manageable pieces, having a go and seeking feedback or asking questions. Whether I’m reading documentation, reviewing code, following along in a meeting or trying to design a technical solution to a problem, the amount of information that I can process in my working memory at one time is limited and when I reach that limit then I feel overwhelmed. Keeping notes as I work, both typed and handwritten is something that I’ve found helpful when relieving that pressure. The notes that I take along the way save me time later when I need to summarise and explain what I’ve learned for others or myself in the future.

If I’m stressed about falling behind on my work, I tend to think it’s because I’ve either failed to practice the skills that I’ve listed in the previous sections or perhaps even failed to identify other skills that I could be practicing. If I keep problems small enough to be solvable, keep my schedule and priorities organised, manage expectations, avoid distractions, and reduce uncertainty then in theory I should be on top of things and stress-free. However in practice I can’t expect to get it right all of the time and feeling panic or having a negative attitude at these times is unhelpful. Meditation, physical exercise and just taking a break have all been useful ways to manage stress and approach my situation with a fresh perspective. From there I have what I need to find a path towards getting back on track, and a mindset to invite others in to help when I need it.

Enjoyment

Similar to feeling stress on the job, my enjoyment is linked to how well I rate my own performance. When I’m doing everything well, I feel like I’m good at my job and I feel better about myself. My performance is improved when I remind myself of the lessons on this page. As I get better at practicing these lessons and learning new techniques, I’m able to stay positive because I feel like I’m improving. Taking breaks, stepping away from my computer and going outside helps me to escape the feeling of being stuck at my desk all day. In the past I’ve made up for poor performance by working longer hours but I’ve found that the only sustainable solution is to set boundaries and seek to find ways to use my dedicated work hours more productively.

Another technique to improving my overall positivity has been to practice appreciation. I appreciate that I have work that allows me to challenge myself and grow my skills. The work pays well and at the moment I even have the flexibility to work part-time. My colleagues are skilled, kind and emotionally intelligent and my manager has expressed gratitude that I’m around and what it means to the team to have me. If I focus on these positives and improve in areas that I can control, the person who has the most to gain from it is me. My clients, employers, family, friends and strangers will all benefit from our interactions if my mindset is in a state of positivity and having that effect on others is ultimately how I motivate myself to persevere on this journey.