My Bungy Jumping Experience

Motivation

Last year I crossed bungy jumping off my bucket list and it was far from a carefree experience. A few years ago, I yelled at a friend at the mouth of a volcano because I was panicking about falling in. My fear of heights manifests as a queasy feeling and light-headedness whenever I get close to a steep drop or look over the railing of a balcony. Maybe it’s because I have a wild imagination and I can see myself involuntarily leaping over if I linger for too long. Despite the fear, it’s always been a fantasy of mine to feel the rush of a free-fall and a solo roadtrip in New Zealand last year felt like the perfect time to achieve that.

After arriving in NZ, I spent some time with local family and shared that I was considering a bungy jump during my trip. Those who had done it for themselves recommended the Nevis Bungy and much like the marketing material, they sold it to me by telling me that I might as well go for a big one if I’m doing it at all. After a few days of hestiation and uncertainty about my schedule, I decided to make it a landmark of the trip and booked it with just under a week to prepare myself.

Preparation

With 6 days until the jump there were plenty of other activities to keep me busy. I enjoyed wildlife, nature, fortunate weather and was in awe of the beautiful scenery while driving. Although I felt I was in paradise, there were moments where my thoughts weren’t so peaceful. Having the jump looming, at unexpected times I had visions of myself on the edge about to jump and felt like I was back at the volcano, shutting down because of panic. While exploring the feelings I was having during those visions, I realised that what I was experiencing in addition to a fear of heights, was a fear of failure. I knew that I wanted to understand and overcome that fear of failure as a side-quest, but that’s a topic that I’ll save for a future post. In the meantime I needed to make a plan for how I was going to jump despite my fears.

I’ve come to understand that the anxious thoughts that I have are generally due to my imagination occupying an unknown with a worst-case scenario. I decided to de-mystify the experience by watching some videos of the jump I was about to do. Many of the videos documented an end-to-end process of boarding the bus, driving to the jump-site, strapping into harnesses, differing degrees of negotiating with the fear, jumping and then feeling the euphoria of achievement afterwards. One account that I found particularly helpful was this one where the jumper spent about 3 minutes being encouraged by the staff to overcome their fears before finally going for it. The staff were patient and understanding with words of encouragement like, “The longer you wait here, the harder it’s going to get”, “Be strong”, “You’re supposed to be scared, embrace it”, “You can do it, be positive”, “Look up, focus on the mountains”.

Having watched several videos, I had gained more than sweaty hands and an elevated heart rate, so I decided to journal about what I’d learned to devise a plan:

• Fear of heights:
  • I’m afraid of falling / jumping and harming myself
    • “You’re supposed to be scared, embrace it”
    • You wouldn’t be able to do this in New Zealand if it wasn’t safe enough
  • How to mitigate:
    • “Look up, focus on the mountains”
    • Deep breaths, meditate to maintain focus on the goal
• Fear of failure
  • I don’t want to back out at the last minute
    • The staff spent 3 minutes helping someone, if you want to do it they’ll help you.
  • I don’t want to look silly by taking too long or falling strangely
    • “The longer you wait here, the harder it’s going to get”
      • Jump on the first countdown
        • Plan how you’re going to jump, so that you don’t have to think at all

I took what I had learned from the videos as well as what I already knew about the power I have over my mind. My strategy was to do all of the thinking and problem-solving up front so that I could get into a “no-mind state” and be in the moment instead of overcome by fear. I focused on getting through the initial jump because the rest could be improvised. I wanted to feel like I’d already succeeded, as much as that was possible without having done it. To commit fully to the strategy, I planned the outfit I was going to wear a few days out and made sure not to get it dirty in the days prior. In my motel room I practiced jumping forward with my arms out by my side and feet together. The night before I planned a light breakfast to minimise the chances of nerves playing with my stomach. I went to sleep feeling confident with nothing else to solve.

The Day

After a solid sleep, and a light breakfast I walked to the meeting point and noticed the mountains in the distance.

Even though the Nevis canyon was in the opposite direction, I could see myself about to jump and I reminded myself that I could do it. I arrived early for check-in and went for a walk by the bay where I admired some more mountains and focused on the sound of the gentle waves instead of free falling to the ground.

When it was time for check-in, it played out just like the videos I’d seen. The staff were friendly during the weigh-in and I sat in a waiting area where I chatted with the other jumpers. As we spoke I shared that I was nervous without any shame because I was embracing the fear.

After a bus ride to the Nevis canyon I looked out at the jump site.

The videos and photos could never do justice to the size of the drop. The ‘don’t look down’ strategy would be employed later but on arrival I was admiring everything I could see and enjoying all of the sensations I was feeling. We had a quick toilet break then got harnessed and prepared for the cable car journey out to the suspended jump-site. Here’s how things went after that from the perspective of a friendly companion:

The official video offers a closer approximation of the scale:

So how closely did I stick to my strategy? I embraced the fear, mostly avoided looking down, meditated to stay focused, and jumped almost in the style that I intended but more importantly, I jumped at the end of the first countdown. I call that a success and I’m not only proud of the achievement itself, but of the process I followed in getting myself there. Proud enough to think it worth sharing on this platform.

Afterwards I celebrated over lunch with some of the other jumpers. The day ended with this beautiful performance by the water. It felt necessary to include this here as it perfectly captured the relief and peace that I experienced afterwards.

After

A few hours after the jump was done I made a plan to cross another item off the bucket list. The relief of having the bungy jump behind me was one thing but the excitement of having a challenge to look forward to was another. A week later I did my first tandem skydive from 18,000ft.

I’m still afraid of heights.